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Happiness
7

Happiness

Happiness

(OP)
A recent survey by a magazine in Bangalore indicated only 31% are happy. The lowest percentage for India. Perhaps Bangalore too follows the American model in this sphere.

 David G Myers a social psychologist in an interview with the same magazine states and I quote" But in affluent countries,once we are able to afford life's necessities, more and more money provides diminishing additional returns.That's why America has big houses and broken homes ,high incomes and low morale,secure rights and diminished civility.We are excelling at making a living,but failing at making a life. We are prosperous but yearn for purpose. We cherish for freedoms but long for connection. In an age of plenty we are feeling spiritual hunger."

These comments are universal I suppose and not necessarily restricted to US.

We have been discussing the gloomier aspects of outsourcing, waning interests in engineering etc. On a positive note I thought of checking how happy are we as engineers. Can a survey be undertaken in this forum?  

RE: Happiness

I chose my career well- it suits my interests and aptitudes exactly.  And I think I've chosen a noble profession which offers true benefit to society.  These things give me tremendous satisfaction.

Am I happy as an engineer?  Sure.  Would I be happier if I had less stress, more compensation, more career options open to me in my country, and more respect from the general public and from other professions?  Absolutely!  It's this striving for improvement which drives me to do better professionally- and to be involved in my engineering community for the betterment of my profession.  

As to success and wealth breeding unhappiness, it's an interesting notion.  Once we have our basic needs met, we can turn our minds to deeper problems which have less satisfactory solutions.  We can also create artificial stress and dissatisfaction in ourselves by becoming more materialistic and equating wealth and posessions with satisfaction.  That's a mug's game- a pyramid scam that many wealthy/successful people fall victim to.

RE: Happiness

I like my job.  I don't like where I live.  I stay here because of the job, even though there is nowhere to advance in this job.  And because I'm too lazy to put much effort into finding a different job.  Meanwhile, life over there is passing me by as I remain here...

I don't know if I'd be any happier living in a more suitable place with a job I liked less.

I am now completely depressed.  Thanks.

Hg

RE: Happiness

Happiness is biochemistry, it happens in your head and only you can influence it. Happiness is also temporary. Studies showed that if you win a major (x00 k$) prize, your happiness lasts about 2 weeks, after that things are back to normal. This means that you have to work in order to stay happy. Get out of that chair and change your life, otherwise you'll inevitably get depressed. (I moved from one company and country to another last year and life has never been more exciting.)

RE: Happiness

(OP)
Happiness is a state of mind. But what triggers this emotion? If you are provided all the comforts that you desire, after a while,I am sure this too would leave you craving and frustrated.

Happiness is not all about wants or desires, but something beyond.

RE: Happiness

Well HgTx your not alone but all our gripes must be put into context with some of the problems people are having at this moment in time.  But that need not stop us from striving to improve. Ive been generally unhappy for a while.  My home life is great, I have no major debts, I have a lovely new born son, and yet when it comes to to personal fulfilment I am unhappy.  I find very little incentive in working for someone else to make them rich, thats living their dream.  I know that I am being underemployed.  I struggle to give myself a focus.  I have no specific interest and I hate doing the same thing twice. My strengths at work are getting things from concept to operational, but please dont ask me to run it, I'm not interested. I am piggy in the middle of: enjoy what you have- versus-go get some more.  However, reflecting on what others have said, my woos are self-stimulated.  I was asked two questions the other day by a person who has invested money in hiring someone to coach them through pockets of muddle like this.  And I am beginning to think that only when you understand yourself will you really get to the bottom of happiness.  The questions:

1) What do you want?
2) Then whats stopping you?

How do we measure satifaction and success? How many of us when meeting someone in the street for the first time in a while immediately bleet about our personnal wealth, successes and waht we want next.  I was actually put on the spot they other day someone reply: I'm just really happy. No look ay me, no I've got this, no this is where I'm going, just really happy.

I think that one of the major causes of this unhappiness is that today for us privaliged few, the world is really our ouster.  There is so much we could do that we dont know what, we can see the 'opportunity costs. If I do that then I cant do this and that makes us unhappy and negative.  I think focus is the key, be clear about what you want and stay happy with what you have.  I am going to work on this this year.  No more wasting time being negative.  If something is worth doing then do it yourself, dont wait for someone else to fulfil your dreams, it will never happen.

RE: Happiness

There is some evidence from psycologists that the happiness of a group is linked to the equality within that group: if everyone is equally poor, everyone is equally happy (or unhappy!).  If there is inequality within the group, then those that have less feel unhappy as they compare themselves to the 'have mores'.

So as the US (like many industriallised nations) has a highish level of inequality, this may explain any higher levels of 'unhappiness'.  Perhaps Bangalore, by becoming more industrialised, is simply seeing growing levels of inequality, which is producing growing levels of unhappiness?

RE: Happiness

Kinda on topic - I was getting a filling replaced this AM and this poster was on the ceiling.

http://web.utk.edu/~jgoverly/21suggestions.html

21 Secrets to Success by H. Jackson Brown Jr.

  
   1.  Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.

   2. Work at something you enjoy and that's worthy of your time and talent.

   3. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

   4. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.

   5. Be forgiving of yourself and others.

   6. Be generous.

   7. Have a grateful heart.

   8. Persistence, persistence, persistence.

   9. Discipline yourself to save money on even the most modest salary.

  10. Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.

  11. Commit yourself to constant improvement.

  12. Commit yourself to quality.

  13. Understand that happiness is not based on possessions, power or prestige, but on relationships with people you love and respect.

  14. Be loyal.

  15. Be honest.

  16. Be a self-starter.

  17. Be decisive even if it means you'll sometimes be wrong.

  18. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.

  19. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did.

  20. Take good care of those you love.

  21. Don't do anything that wouldn't make your Mom proud.

 

RE: Happiness

22. If you can significantly improve your life by adhering to a one sentence platitude then you must have a very simple outlook.

Cheers

Greg Locock

RE: Happiness

Greg--
Well, sure, but what about 21 one-sentence platitudes?

For my ceiling-staring medical activities, I much prefer those Murphy's Law posters.

Hg

RE: Happiness

To start with "1.  Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery." -- the figure is definitely wrong and misdirecting. The actual figure is much less, closer to 5%. The figure of 90% pertains to personal health, according to a major authority on the subject.

Ciao.

RE: Happiness

LOL or COL??? It is rather easy to be unhappy than taking care of all those 21+..... points.

At the end, I strongly feel, scientists and philosophers come to a common point i.e illusion.

RE: Happiness

"18. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life."
...imho is all you need to do to become happy, the rest comes naturally.

RE: Happiness

Why is everyone looking for their personal fullfillment in the workplace?  Only 12% of you life is spent working.  It's foolish to seek your happiness in such a small segment of your life.  Aim for the big target; it's much easier to hit.

Instead, you should judt find a job that's enjoyable enough to not stress you out and detract from the remaining 88% of your life.  Ideally this job will also provide enough funds to support those outside-of-work life fulfilling activities that you should be pursuing to make yourself happy. If it doesn't, it just means that you need to pay closer attention to your fund allocations when you budget.

If you don't realize that most of life happens outside the workplace, then you'll miss out on it and you also deprive those around you from their happiness and fulfillment. (which then sends your whole world into a death spiral.) Then everybody loses.

Just my $.02

HB

RE: Happiness

12%?  During the working phase of one's life, time spent in childhood and retirement is irrelevant to current quality of life.  In my day-to-day existence, work takes up more than a quarter of my life, and on working days it takes up almost half of my waking hours.  (It would take up more than half if I got enough sleep.)  For most of the week, most of life happens IN the workplace.

Hg

RE: Happiness

Another 33% can already be achieved with a good matress and a wife that doesn't snore. (reminds me item 1 of the list of 21)

RE: Happiness

(OP)
Fortunately there are no women participants. Or else we would be labelled mcps(courtsey list 21) What if the husband snores ,wife too has a right to protest like mine. (We re married for almost 20 years!!)

RE: Happiness

I know I was sexist... As a matter of fact, both my wife and I snore, but I engineered myself out of that problem. Snoring usually stops when the snorer changes position. Have you ever noticed that people that have a strong bond move "in phase" (at the same time) when they're together? I noticed this even works when you sleep. So when my snoring wife keeps me awake, I turn from back to belly, so she turns from back to belly at the same time and stops snoring. It's a spectacular sight. This only works when you're in good harmony, not after a good old fight. One more reason to make up before going to sleep...

RE: Happiness

(OP)
We have now got into bedroom talk.!! Now does a good bed ensure hapiness??

RE: Happiness

The old tales are true: its what you make it, you'll never get rich working for someone, you've made your bed so lay in it. Engineering is not the industry to be in at the moment.  Thats it. How many more time do you want to here it? Get out do someting different.  Your adaptable skills will serve you well.

RE: Happiness

2
A good bed contributes to a restful sleep with proper alpha/delta patterning, which is essential to maintaining proper dopamine and seratonin levels, which contribute significantly to the ability to be happy.  Then when you wake up, you must create the conditions your personality requires to make you happy.   If those conditions cannot be created, you will not be happy, even with a good bed.

I originally planned to be a commercial artist, but illness destroyed my ability to work and go to school (and walk, for that matter.)  By the time my illness was sufficiently controlled to let me have a life again, I was nearly thirty.  I needed a career in a hurry, and power engineering presented itself as being physically do-able, and offering the highest potential return for the lowest initial investment.  I figured that, by thirty, dream jobs are just that, and I should find something to pay the bills.  I could draw in my spare time ^_^

This plan worked marvellously.  I got picked up by a mushroom farm and now make enough to give me a comfortable lifestyle in a new-built, upscale home.  When they realized they couldn't exploit me in the maintenance shop (like they did their last couple of power engineers :B ), they put me up in the office doing paperwork, CAD and other things that are important to the running of the department, but chronically behind because nobody likes to do them - I do, so it works out well. I wouldn't say I'm thrilled to get up for work every day, and I have absolutely nothing in common with any of my coworkers, so its a good thing I'm a loner by nature or I might've been miserable.  But its a far better way to spend eight hours per day than my previous job, it pays better, and I get appreciation and respect (two things I've never had before :B )

I already had the right spouse, a cat and now a brand-new customized home and new furniture.  I wouldn't say that engineering has made me happy, but it has enabled the conditions that create my happiness.  I like playing Dexter's Lab in the mornings and I really don't mind the paperwork.  I do draw in my spare time, and write scripts and stories and produce amateur animations, all of which is a lot more fun than drawing pictures of toothpaste tubes.  I don't make a huge salary and I'd be less worried if I knew my salary would keep pace with the skyrocketing cost of living but generally and overall, I am happy and happy with my career and job decisions.

I sleep on an Ikea "Hemnes" bed with "Lade" bedslats, on which is a medium-firm Sealy individual-coil mattress, topped by a 4" thick featherbed from Sears.  An Ikea feather quilt, in Ikea quiltbag (got several to choose from), goes on top of the 150-tc sheets, and pillows chosen to support our particular sleeping positions.  The combination gives sufficient back support to both of us (he's considerably heavier than I) while the featherbed  reduces the pressure-point and compressed-joint pains that plague me, and 'breathes' to disperse our bodyheat and reduce night sweats.  This is important because we tend to sleep cuddled up like spoons ^_^   One thing engineering taught me is how to apply its principles to everything in my life:  Isolate the problem, determine the factors that make it a problem, apply creative thinking to how those factors can be alleviated, choose the most feasible options and eliminate the problem.  Next stop, engineering my lawn and vegetable garden...... ^_^

Sorry for the long post.  .... okay, I'm not sorry, hope somebody enjoyed it :)

"Eat well, exercise regularly, die anyways."

RE: Happiness

I did

RE: Happiness

A quote on Happines. do not remember the source.

Be happy for an hour; take a nap
Be happy for a day; go fishing or shopping (generally gender based)
Be happy for a month; get married
Be happy for a year; win the lottery
Be happy for a lifetime; make someone else happy
Hydrae

RE: Happiness

(OP)
I read a joke just now and thought it might make some happy. I have posted it. I do not know the source so please excuse me for it.




Joke 3 - NASA was interviewing professionals they were thinking of sending to Mars. The touchy part was that only one guy could go and it would be a one-way trip, the guy not ever returning to Earth. The interviewer asked the first applicant, an engineer, how much he wanted to be paid for going. "One million dollars," the engineer answered. "And I want to donate it all to my alma mater--Rice University." The next applicant was a doctor, and the interviewer asked him the same question. "Two millions dollars," the doctor said. "I want to give a million to my family and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research." The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer's ear, "Three million dollars." "Why so much more than the others?" the interviewer asked. The lawyer replied, "You give me three million, I'll give you one million, I'll keep a million, and we'll send the engineer!"

RE: Happiness



I am young (not over 25 yet) and youthful boasting sometimes makes a fool (and you may read it as such), but this topic represents a not-too-distant fundamental shift in my life.  I'll chime in with my personal experience:

An often neglected part of our lives resides in our Spirituality.  This neglect contributes to "unhappiness".

Not to sound metaphysical or new-age or religious, but as engineers, we tend to place a huge emphasis on the physical and mental aspects of our "existing" person.  These areas are what makes us especially good at what we do for a living- thinking logically, thinking critically, acting concretely with data backing us up all the way.  Needless to say, the result is that sometimes the "spritual" side of us is ignored as it warrants an acceptance of illogical thinking or scientifically baseless belief into our lives.

I found that once I confronted my ignorance of my "spiritual" side, and after I became more secure with learning about the idea of "God", I found that my previous viewpoint on religion and spirituality was too limited.
I strongly feel the "God" is not an idea, but a truth, and even though to this day handfuls of mysteries about God exist in my mind, my "spiritual" life has firmed up and is healthy.  I exercise it just like running or studying does for your body or mind.  Net effect = greater happiness.

The effect of being more active in Church has presented opportunity to serve others, and in a rather indirect way, this contributes to my happiness as well.

As a result, my happiness tends to be greater- not always happiness in a joyful way, but that positive security and continuity is there day after day.

RE: Happiness

In one place it is written that physical exercise avails little.  But if taken in context, it really is saying that spiritual exercise avails much.  Each of us needs to find that special balance.

In another place it is written that to be fleshly minded is death but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.  I don't do such a terrific job of living that platitude but when I do, life is good and peace is deep.

HgTX,  I am kind of on the other end of the spectrum.  I let go of an engineering job that I really enjoyed to live where I want.  One problem is that many other people are also willing to give up a lot to live here.  Hence the job market is tough.  It took me about 8 years in this wonderland to get a good job and although I enjoy my work, I miss engineering.  I am strategizing to get back into the engineering group on this very special project where I work.

Sometimes it is really frustrating to not be able to use much of my education and experience but life is too short and there is plenty of good stuff to occupy my mind, body, and spirit off the job, not to mention on it.  So I have to keep telling myself to get out of myself and think of others.

When we are allowed to be a part of the growth of others so that their true needs are met, there is nothing to match it.

RE: Happiness

The latest issue of the TIME magazine deals with the subject in hand.

RE: Happiness


Today (A very COLD day in NYC) I was sent to 3 different buildings in NYC to take measurements for wireless telecommunication installations. The weather made me miserable, as I was outside for half the day. I went to the 3 addresses without much thought. I found that one of them was a Buddist Temple. Although I am not Buddist, it was nice to see the inside of a temple for the first time in my life. The temple was also next to the entrance of the Manhattan Bridge. This entrance is a stone archway with adjacent colonades. It was recently cleaned and looked magnificent. Although I don't particularly care for my job or engineering at times, it does take me to interesting places that I would never go. At times, this type of experience is priceless. Other times, I find myself in rat infested surroundings (where some of the rats have 2 legs). Engineering definitely has its share of ups & downs. When its up, it can be really up.

RE: Happiness

(OP)
Buddhist monasteries are a place of serenity and tranquility. I am not a Buddhist nor a Zen follower though I have read a number of Zen books. You experience an inner peace when you vist such places and also realise your smallness.

RE: Happiness

Arun
<<<<<<<<< Fortunately there are no women participants. Or else we would be labelled mcps(courtsey list 21) What if the husband snores ,wife too has a right to protest like mine. (We re married for almost 20 years!!) >>>>>>>>


"We're married" or "we re-married"???
That made me momentarily happy!
And who is the lawyer I have to contact?? Will they accept USD on Mars? And I will not donate it to Rice University.
That made me happy again.

And finally a good bed would make me feel rested, but a good partner happy even minus the bed!!!

Thanks and regards
Sayee Prasad R CEng MWeldI MIOMMM


If it moves, train it...if it doesn't move, calibrate it...if it isn't written down, it never happened!

RE: Happiness

(OP)
Prasad you seem to have missed the lady participant generatorgrrl in this thread. It was she who gave a long and interesting view of happiness.

RE: Happiness

Are you all assuming that if a screen name doesn't have a specific reference to women that the writer is male?  Pretty short-sighted of you.

RE: Happiness

*chuckle* Indeed.  *At least* one other woman posted to this thread long before I did.

Ass/U/Me ^_~

Oh, and Arun? It was you who made the crack about "no women participants" -- *after* a woman (not me) had participated.  Snooze you lose *chuckle*

-- GeneratorGrrl (not offended, just amused)

"Eat well, exercise regularly, die anyways."

RE: Happiness

(OP)
Sorry my being so dumb not to have realised that there could be other women participants too. The only way I can kiss and makeup for this mistake is by giving a star.

Now please reveal the other participants identity so that I do not repeat this mistake again.

Engineering is mostly men dominated and my interaction professionally for over 25 years has been with men only(sounds so boring perhaps) hence I missed the point.

RE: Happiness

The environmental factor might have misled us but to echo a common notion, green is more feminine.

Hey, don't take grudge on poor quark. Afterall, this thread is about happiness

RE: Happiness

Sorry ladies, no offense meant. In any case, I did not Ass/U/Me that females were/were not following this thread. And I do not think that my mail was so offensive, however apologize if anyone felt so! (Though I will unabashedly agree that Arun's reply to my post made me cringe the whole of yesterday that I made an ass of myself w/o assuming anything ^_~)

And what I was trying to lead to was that happiness is not about the big goal or the big target. It is about small occurences in which you could find happiness in. The summation of these would far exceed happiness in one singular achievement or event.

I am happy when I see interesting threads in this forum.

Arun
Thanks for an interesting thread.

I also feel happy when I share my knowledge and experience and when that is appreciated. I felt very happy everytime I received an unexpected pay raise/promotion. I felt happy everytime I added to my professional qualification(s) by giving a exam/interview.

Happiness in personal life is a different issue and maybe each one of us is capable of writing a book on our own perceptions of happiness.

Happiness is relative and highly individualized. The same event that would make me happy would probably make someone else experiencing the same event unhappy.

The same event that would make me happy would probably make me unhapy at any other point of time.


Thanks and regards
Sayee Prasad R CEng MWeldI MIOMMM


If it moves, train it...if it doesn't move, calibrate it...if it isn't written down, it never happened!

RE: Happiness

Source of life's happiness...a good pair of shoes and a comfortable bed. You'll spend you life on either one or the other.

RE: Happiness

And a nice ergonomic chair.

Hg

RE: Happiness

But every Friday with your bum on the floor! So you'll be extra happy the next Monday when you get the chair back.

I.e., I remain convinced that happiness is all about change. We love going on holidays walking around in the mountains sleeping in a tent, but we're almost as happy when we get home again.

RE: Happiness

Happiness is having nothing to complain about rather than things to brag about.

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